There is always the hope and the chance that your competition’s client will someday open an account with you, especially if he’s not thrilled with his Advisor. An existing client of yours who is not thrilled with you is probably less willing to do business with you than the guy who’s not your client yet. Ironic, isn’t it? Make sure your house is in order.

I just finished reading People Styles at Work by Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton. The book is intended to suggest ways to deal with stress at work, but the suggestions are spot on for anyone who is in the business of building and maintaining successful relationships. Chances are you’ll recognize yourself somewhere in this book. If you can identify how you respond to stress, you can better minimize your negative impulses. The authors suggest that under stress, bosses and leaders can easily become autocratic. Analytical types recede into shells they create. People who are normally outgoing tend to bark at those closest to them. It’s really quite interesting. You can buy a new copy for less than $14.00 on Amazon.com or you can buy a used copy for less than $2.00.

Everybody I know thinks he or she is a good driver. I’ve never had anyone tell me that he’s a menace or a danger to other people. Yet you and I know that’s delusional to a large extent. The roads are full of awful drivers. Well, everyone also thinks he or she is a good listener. That, too, is delusional to a large extent. I watched an Advisor give a presentation last week. He didn’t hear a word his client said. Oh, he thought he did, but he didn’t. While his client was speaking, the Advisor was thinking about what he was going to say next. I was uncomfortable, the client was put off and the Advisor was none the wiser. Can’t you just picture the situation? Simply put, the size of our paychecks depends completely upon our ability and willingness to create and maintain long term relationships. The depth of a relationship is directly related to how well we know the other person. The only way we are going to get to know someone is by listening. It’s terribly hard to get to know someone else while you are jabbering away. Listening skills are as important as verbal skills in this business. Please don’t just assume you’re a good listener. Practice.

I urge you to get in the habit of insisting that anyone who opens an account with you add money to that account on a regular basis. Saving money is a habit and you’ll be doing yourself and them a favor by instilling in them a sense of discipline. You tell them that if they save a little bit of money each month, at the end of the year they’ll be surprised at how much money they have saved. And if you insist that every client add money month after month and year after year, you’ll be shocked at the amount of additional fees or commissions you will generate over the course of your career. A lot of little things truly do add up to one big thing.

Confucius said tell me and I’ll forget. Show me and I’ll remember. Get me involved and I will understand.
Don’t simply tell your clients what to do. Everyone tells them what to do. You be the one to show them how to do it. And get them involved while you are showing them. When you give them written materials, have them write on it. Make it a working manual, not a sales brochure.